Many years ago, back in the United States, I had a housemate who would make what he called “pizza” by arranging slices of white bread on a baking sheet, pouring ketchup over them and topping it with hot dog slices and cheddar cheese. So it was pizza, except that the dough was replaced by bread, the tomato sauce was replaced by ketchup, the pepperoni was replaced by frankfurters and the mozzarella was replaced by cheddar. And the desire to eat was replaced by the gag reflex.
The same principle seems to be at work at this lunch stand in the 10th arrondissement. It says it offers “tacos,” except that the tortillas seem to be replaced by flatbread, the meat and cheese filling seems to be replaced by, ah, something (eggs? Tofu?) and the toppings (salsa, guacamole, jalapeños, cilantro, etc.) seem to be replaced by air. The only thing in their image that looks truly authentic is the genuine, traditional can of Coca-Cola. The way mia madre used to pour it.
And that’s not all. Have a closer look at the slateboard up there:
Like the restaurant whose ad I bemoaned in last week’s article, they also make fish and chips! Which must be every bit as authentic as the tacos, considering that it comes with the genuine, traditional condiment: fish to fish sauce. Except that the fish is probably replaced by ketchup and the other fish is probably replaced by, ah, something. Maybe Coke.
Note to readers: David Jaggard will be performing standup as part of the “Comedy Square” lineup at Paname Art Café in Paris on October 17th, 9pm.
An album of David Jaggard’s comic compositions is now available for streaming on Spotify and Apple Music, for purchase (whole or track by track) on iTunes and Amazon, and on every other music downloading service in the known universe, under the title “Totally Unrelated.”
Note to readers: David Jaggard’s e-book Quorum of One: Satire 1998-2011 is available from Amazon as well as iTunes, iBookstore, Nook, Reader Store, Kobo, Copia and many other distributors.